The Marvelous Adventures of Narcissa Hightopp
by Ranguvar27
Summary: This is a tale of Tarrant's long lost sister, Narcissa, and the journey she undergoes to Marmoreal to be reunited with her brother, and with her One True Love, Ilosovic Stayne. Or so she claims. The rest of them know better. *Deliberate* Mary Sue.
1. Chapter 1 Meet Narcissa

The Marvelous Adventures of Narcissa Hightopp, Tarrant's Long Lost Sister.

Chapter One: Meeting Narcissa.

In a far and remote corner of the remotest and most far corner of the vast kingdom known as Underland, a young woman of astounding and unearthly beauty stood crying pearlescent tears underneath a small and sickly looking tree. A perfect pearl of a tear fell from the woman's perfectly gorgeous deep blue and perfectly shaped eyes to land on the exposed root of the tree, which inexplicably grew from a small ash to a towering and majestic oak in less time than it takes to write this sentence. The woman smiled, revealing perfect white teeth and perfectly pouty and ruby red lips. She walked down the path, her bare feet not making a single dent in the dirt road. As she walked, flowers sprang up with each step she took, and birds circled around her head, singing happily.

This woman was known amongst the mages and wizards of this part of Underland as The Great One. Her true name was Narcissa Amethyst Emerald Raven Jade Sapphire Hightopp, and she was the long lost eldest sister of Tarrant Hightopp. When the Jabberwock attacked their clan, Narcissa had used her forbidden knowledge of Travel Magic to create a mystical swirling portal that transported her out of the village and to safety. Tragically, she forgot to come back for the rest of her family, and so she had been living with horrible Guilt for her small oversight. But recently, her pet phoenix George had informed her that her brother was alive and well, living in Marmoreal with his wife and children. Narcissa had been overjoyed, and determined to make the long trek to Marmoreal to see her long lost and much beloved baby brother.

She had reached her mansion, and with a wave of her pale and perfect hand the door opened, revealing a servant. The servant quickly threw himself onto the floor, knowing that it was considered a most grievous offense to gaze upon The Great One without her permission. "Oh Great One, I do hope that you are not upset with this lowly worm of the dust!"

Narcissa laughed. "Not at all, servant. However, I have seen that my brother Tarrant is alive and well. Prepare my entourage for a journey to Marmoreal. I must go and make myself even more perfect."

The servant bowed several times, than ran off to fulfill his Mistresses' orders. Narcissa glided up her marble staircase to her room, gazing at herself in the gigantic wall length mirror that she had installed. She frowned at her reflection. "Brown hair is simply not becoming. So…Blondus Hairus Creatus!"

Her hair shimmered, then turned a beautiful, golden, and shimmering blond. Narcissa made a motion like she was using an invisible comb, and her hair lengthened, stopping when it reached her gorgeous and perfectly shaped butt. She blinked her eyes, and they turned a deep cerulean, with hints of gold hidden deep within their depths. "Now for my breasts." She held her hands out in front of her chest, and her already magnificent melons began to grow. Once she was satisfied that she had lovely, firm, and enormous breasts, she checked to make sure that she hadn't accidentally acquired those dreaded things called hips. When she first practiced this spell, she had been horrified to discover that she was…curvy! But now everything was how it should be, and she maintained her beautiful and impossibly slim figure.

After making sure she was pale enough to be beautiful, but not so pale that she looked like a corpse, she walked over to her enormous walk in closet, selecting the perfect dress from among the many she owned. Of course, being an immensely powerful mage/witch/sorceress, she could have simply magicked the perfect dress in an instant, but she sometimes enjoyed acting like an ordinary person.

She selected her favorite dress. It was a deep pink, with dark green bows placed symmetrically along the long and flowing skirt, and it shimmered from the tiny bits of pearls, diamonds, emeralds, sapphires, rubies, and gold pieces skillfully woven into the material. The top dipped just enough to show off her perfect and ever perky breasts, but not so much as to invite scandal. Nonetheless, the dress clung to every inch of her, revealing a body that most men had gone crazy for. But Narcissa was pure, and had saved herself all these years for only one man. She sighed as she recalled…him. Ilosovic Stayne, the Knave of Hearts. How handsome he was! That perfect black hair, those gorgeous blue eyes, that strong and manly physique! Why, he was the perfect man to her perfect woman! Who cared about this vicious rumor she had heard that he was married? She knew that all she had to do was bat her perfectly formed eyelashes and any man born would crumble.

(She had conveniently forgotten that the one time she had met Ilosovic, he had been singularly unimpressed with her.)

A servant entered, prostrating herself. "Oh Magnificent Radiance of A Thousand Splendid Suns, this lowly and worthless servant has prepared your entourage of servants, caravans, food, drinks, and minstrels to sing your praises for your pilgrimage to the White Queen's domain of Marmoreal."

Narcissa waved a hand in airy thanks. "Yes, fine. Now, roll out my golden carpet so I do not have to scuff my emerald shoes on my spotless marble floors, or I will have you clean the entire mansion with a paint brush."

The servant ran to a closet and pulled out a tightly rolled up carpet. She carefully placed one end on the floor, and with a flick of her wrist sent it rolling out the room, down the stairs, out the front doors, where it came to a stop at the door of a golden carriage. The door opened, revealing lush and velvet seats and curtains. The horses were a perfect white. Behind the carriage was Narcissa's entourage. There were servants, minstrels, cooks, masseuses, painters, writers-basically anyone that would be able to praise her perfect being.

She came gliding down the stairs, and the cry went up. "Hail the Great One! Wielder of the Power of Underland! Magnificent Radiance of Splendor! The Chaste and Virginal One! The Mighty and Marvelous Mage of the Hightopp Clan! Our Reason for Being! Hail! Hail!"

Narcissa entered the carriage, and the driver flicked the reins, setting off for Marmoreal, where she would not only find her long lost brother(a perfect tear rolled slowly down her marble cheeks at this touching thought) but also be reunited at long last with her One True Love, Ilosovic Stayne. (Her heart soared like some sort of bird at this pleasant thought.)

And in Marmoreal, Mirana frowned at the Oraculum, which depicted a perfect woman heading towards the palace. "Damn it, I thought we'd gotten rid of those vile creatures."

She reached into her pocket, staring at the small card in her hand. If things got bad, at least she had someone she could send for.

'Thank Time for small favors.'


	2. Chapter 2 Strategies and Plans

The Marvelous Adventures of Narcissa Hightopp

Chapter Two: Strategies and Plans

Tarrant was in his Shop sewing a feather onto a hat he was making for Helena when a knock sounded. "Come in!"

A young servant entered. "Sir, her Majesty would like to see you in the throne room immediately on a most urgent matter." Tarrant nodded his acknowledgment and the servant left.

He glued the feather to the hat, and then set it carefully aside before heading to the throne room, a bit surprised to see Ilosovic, Alannah, and Alice waiting there as well. "Mirana sent for all of us, I see."

Ilosovic nodded. "Yes, but I can't imagine what for. The messenger would only tell Alannah and me that it was a 'most urgent matter.'" Alice chuckled.

"That's the same thing I was told. I do hope we find out soon, this curiosity is killing me, and I'm not even a cat!"

"Oh good, you are all here." The group turned and stared at Mirana, who looked more serious and concerned than they had seen her in a while. "We have a problem. Yesterday, the Reader alerted me to the fact that the Oraculum had once again become active."

Alannah gulped, recalling well what had happened the last time. "But…I killed the Boojum!"

Mirana gave her a half smile. "This is a creature far more foul and dangerous." She sighed at their confused and scared looks and produced the Scroll from her skirt pocket, placing it on a nearby table and unrolling it. Tarrant was the first to spot the way it had changed.

"Is…is the Oraculum sparkling?" Mirana nodded, disgusted, and Tarrant grimaced. "I thought so." He motioned Alannah and Alice forward, and they stared at the pictures, grimacing. Ilosovic came forward, took one look at the pictures, and began laughing. Tarrant glared at him. "What may I ask is so funny?"

"Oh, come on! Look at her name! Why would any respectable Clan name their child…Narcissa? And give her that horrid string of names to go with it!"

Alannah smirked at him. "You are missing the bit where she apparently thinks that you are her One True Love." Ilosovic's smile vanished, and he quickly scanned the rest of the Oraculum. Sure enough, there was a part with Narcissa (he gagged mentally at the horrid name) throwing her arms around him for a kiss. Fortunately, the Oraculum-Ilosovic looked thoroughly terrified and disgusted by her touch. But what he found most interesting was that the other version of him had no scars and two eyes. He was also younger.

"Well, that is me, but not me. I'm….well…intact." He cocked his head as the picture moved, and snorted. "Makes sense. So how do I know this Sue anyway?"

Mirana frowned. "According to a…source I have, she is the long lost eldest sister of Tarrant who escaped the Horrendevush Day using something called Travel Magic. My source is reliable, and tells me that if we need help, she'll be glad to send in professionals to…deal with the Sue."

Tarrant snorted. "Well, considering that I'm the oldest in my Clan, and my first sister's name was Bernice, I think perhaps this Narcissa person is delusional. But at least I can be grateful that she's not trying to be my One True Love. That does get rather tiresome, especially as I already *have* a true love in my Alice. So what other gifts does she have?"

Mirana ticked them off on her fingers. "She's a powerful witch, mage, and sorceress. She's got some blather called The Power of Underland, can make any man fall instantly in love with her, and somehow has gigantic breasts, no hips, and is still able to stand up straight. She also dresses 'provocatively yet innocently' and is saving herself for her True Love."

Ilosovic frowned. "Which is me, right? I wonder if maybe we could…you know, distract her with…one of her own kind." He sighed at the confused looks on everyone's faces. "Well, look, most of these creatures are after an ideal of Tarrant, or me, or whoever they decide gets their knickers in a twist. Alannah, between you and Mirana you have an almost magical knowledge of potions. Surely you could concoct something that could…"

Alannah gaped at him. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be? To deliberately create…one of those creatures? ! Even if we succeeded, and there's no guarantee we would, there's the danger of it running amok amongst the ladies! Alice and I would be exempt, as that type usually doesn't target married women, but Mirana would be in danger!"

Mirana, who had been thinking quietly, looked over at Alannah. "I could take a potion that would make me immune to its' charms. But it would still be very dangerous. If they were to get together, and were not destroyed before….consummation, Underland could well be overrun by their Spawn. I don't even want to imagine what that would be like."

Alice shuddered. "Me neither and what's worse is none of us know how to kill these things. Alannah, I know you had that potion, but I have the feeling that this Creature will need more than just that to be defeated."

Tarrant sighed. "Well, look at all the ridiculous gifts she has. And she's got a phoenix. I didn't think those existed here."

Mirana laughed. "They don't. I think once the Creature is dealt with, her pet will simply vanish." She sighed. "Right now though what we need to concern ourselves with is tracking her. Normally I'd send Ilosovic, but in this case I think it's better he stay here. So we'll need someone who's brave, and sneaky, and…"

"You called, Mirana?" Chessur materialized over their heads. "I must say, you seem to have quite the problem on your hands. This Creature is a mere week's journey away from Marmoreal, after all. Hardly enough time to plan a defense."

Tarrant glared at him. "You've been listening, invisible, this whole time!"

Chessur grinned. "Naturally. What else would you expect of me? Now, I'm immune to the charms of Sues, so I could infiltrate her Caravan and find out her plans, and then relay them back to you. The rest would, of course, be left in your ever so capable hands."

Mirana gave him a stern glare, and he winced, ears flattening in remorse, but then she beamed. "Chessur, that is a brilliant idea. I give you full permission to carry out your espionage. This will give us time to formulate a strategy."

Chessur bowed and vanished. As soon as he had left, Mirana turned to the others. "Right. Now, let's start figuring out what to do."

Chessur flew down the path, spotting the road that the Sue was taking. It was easy to follow, since the sun shone brightly on the lush green carpet of soft, mossy green grass, on Chessur's smooth and silky coat of silky and glossy blue and grey striped fur that never had a single tangle or briar in it despite the fact that…

"Ahem!" Chessur stopped and glared at the horizon. "Beg your pardon, but please be a little less purple when describing me. I get briars all the time and they're a bugger to remove."

(The author had a moment of confusion, but then continued with the story, easing up on the description a bit.)

"Thank you "purred Chessur. He continued on, grimacing as he came across Narcissa's Caravan. It seemed to stretch for miles, and he couldn't help but notice that while the carriage that carried her, along with the horses, were sharp and defined, everyone and everything else looked undefined, as if he was seeing them through the wrong end of a telescope. He flew over to one person, and gently touched her? His? Its' shoulder. "Excuse me?" The person turned, and Chessur gulped at the grey and featureless face and blank eyes. "Who…what's your name?"

The person blinked slowly, and then spoke in a voice full of confusion. "Name? I…Servant and Worshipper of the Great One. I have no other name." The poor servant blinked again, and for a fraction of a second Chessur could see a spark of fear behind the blank eyes. But it was gone in a flash, and the person melted back into the indistinguishable crowd.

"Who is that who dares to speak to my Servants without my permission?" The voice was full of indignant anger, yet carried a note of sadness and melancholy. Chessur quickly vanished as Narcissa's carriage came to a halt and she came gliding out, heading over to where he floated, nervous.

Narcissa peered intently at Chessur, and he held his breath, wondering why she didn't say or do anything. Then it hit him, and he had to bite his lip to keep from cackling. Narcissa couldn't see him! He decided to have some fun with her, and flew past her, brushing her face with his paws before giving her a stinging slap with his tail, and she shrieked in pain as a mark appeared on her perfect and unblemished cheek. "I demand to know who did that! I am the Great One, and any who oppose me on my journey will be dealt with most harshly!"

Chessur laughed, a deep booming sound that echoed throughout the Forest, and then spoke in the maddest voice he could. "Flee from this place! Death awaits you at Marmoreal! Death! Destruction! Flee! Flee! Flee!"

Narcissa tossed her perfectly coiffed hair behind one bare alabaster shoulder and snorted. "I do not fear Death! I shall continue onto Marmoreal, and be reunited with my brother Tarrant and my true love Ilosovic! Begone, foul being of the Forest!"

Chessur flew away, laughing fit to burst. 'Foul beast of the Forest? Well, I suppose I've been called worse. Still, she's a dangerous one, draining the personalities of people. I hope Mirana and Alannah come up with a plan soon."

Alannah looked over at Mirana. "Are you absolutely sure about this?"

The Queen nodded, her face set. "Yes. We don't have any other choice, and if…things get out of hand, I do have a backup plan."

Alannah sighed. "Then unlock it."

Mirana pulled a silver key from around her neck and inserted it into the lock of a heavy, leather bound book that lay on a raised dais in front of them. "Try not to breathe in any of the dust." Alannah held a handkerchief up to her face, and Mirana unlocked the book. Dust flew up, and the women quickly waved it away. Alannah came forward, flipping through the book, mumbling under her breath. "No, no, oh goodness no, ah! Here it is. Mirana, this is extremely complicated. It's going to take at least three days just to reach potency."

"We just need it to work for a few hours, and then it can…dissolve."

Alannah sighed. "Very well, let's get started. We don't have much time."


	3. Chapter 3 Fight Fire with Fire

The Marvelous Adventures of Narcissa Hightopp

Chapter Three: Fight Fire with Fire

Narcissa's golden carriage rolled on down the dirt path of the road leading to the White Queen's palace at Marmoreal, not a single spot or speck or tiniest mote of dust marring the golden wheels and silver spokes. In the carriage proper, Narcissa sat as though she was on a throne, and even though the carriage bumped and rolled over rough roads, potholes, and through dirt, mud, and other various terrain, she remained sitting perfectly still, not a single hair on her perfect head out of place. She made a gesture with her hand, and a sparkly scroll appeared in mid air. She unrolled it with a flick of her perfectly manicured nails, smiling with joy at the sight she saw. She had her arms around a gorgeous and handsome man with long black hair and pale skin. "I knew that my Sparklerum would show the True Truth! That pesky old Oraculum is much too unreliable, especially since it showed that a mere girl from above…"she snorted that last word with all the contempt it deserved-"was the Champion of Underland! Everyone knows that I am the True Champion! When I reach Marmoreal, there will be some changes made! Starting with the exile of the woman that claims to be the wife of my darling Ichy! Then I will wed him, and we will have many beautiful and perfect children!" She beamed wider, revealing perfectly white and even teeth. Things were going to go wonderfully, she just knew it!

Chessur, who had been in the carriage, had to fly out before the effort to hold in his derisive laughter became too much. This was truly one of the most deluded Creatures he had ever seen, but he wasn't relaxing around her. If she could drain personalities, she was a danger to the ordinary citizens that she came across on her journey. He flew over to the Crowd, trying in vain to see if there was anything that differentiated one…he hesitated to say 'person', but it was the best he could think of…from another, but the more he looked the more they blended together into a faceless mob. He sighed, and then noticed that one of the faceless was walking a bit behind the Crowd. He vanished, and then slowly floated over to it, whispering in the spot where an ear would appear. "Do you remember your name?"

The faceless didn't answer, but a shiver ran through its' grey and formless body, and Chessur saw a tiny spark deep down in the grey mist. 'This one must be recently drained.' He repeated his question with more urgency, and this time the faceless seemed to blink in confusion. A slit opened in the face, and it seemed to be struggling to speak.

"Wor…Wor…worshipper and servant of…"

Chessur hissed in shock as the faceless began to shudder violently. The spark flared up, and for an instant Chessur saw that it had once been a young woman with blond hair and hazel eyes. She gulped, as though there was something caught in her throat, and spoke two words before Narcissa's spell overwhelmed her once again. "Help Us!" But then her persona was gone, and she melded into the Crowd.

Had anyone been around, they would have been witness to the rare sight of the Cheshire Cat cursing a blue streak. This Sue needed to die.

Back at Marmoreal, Alannah and Mirana were preparing their potion. The women were dressed rather oddly-they both were wearing thick gloves that covered their arms, had handkerchiefs wrapped around their mouths, and their hair was pulled up and hidden by a cap. Alannah was wearing a pair of trousers tucked into thick leather boots, a shirt that clung tightly to her, and the only bit of skin visible was around her eyes. Mirana was dressed in a similar manner. Neither of them was going to take any chances on getting the potion on them. Mirana looked over at Alannah, and she nodded. "First, make sure the water is perfectly pure."

Alannah held up a vial of sparkling water. "It came from your personal stores, so it's safe. What's the next step?"

Mirana scanned the page. "Pour three capfuls of water into a silver cauldron."

Alannah carefully opened the vial, pouring the water into the silver cauldron that sat on the table in front of her. A sweet smell filled the air, and Alannah made sure to breathe through her mouth. "Done. Now what?"

"To the water, add four spoonfuls of braggart juice, two leaves from the redhip rose, and three coins from a warrior's purse, and a foot of the rambling vine. Once all ingredients are assembled, stir counterclockwise for five minutes while throwing in dashes of rock salt."

Alannah followed Mirana's directions, and the potion inside the cauldron turned a deep purple and emitted a smell that reminded her of wet socks. She gagged, but kept stirring. "What next?"

"Add one hair from the head of a male."

Alannah reached into her pocket and pulled out a strand of black hair, tossing it into the cauldron, and Mirana grinned. "You snitch that from Ilosovic?"

"From his comb. If the Sue is really under the delusion that he's her true love, it's best to have this…bait look a bit like him. Now what?"

Mirana frowned. "Spit in it." Alannah leaned forward and spat into the cauldron, then stepped back so Mirana could do the same. "Now, normally, we would have to wait for three days so this could reach full potency, but I have the feeling we don't have much time."

"You'd think right, Majesty." Chessur materialized in the room, his face grave. "I've been following Narcissa for the past day, and she's more dangerous than we thought. She's a Drainer."

Mirana looked confused, but Alannah's face grew grave. "Are you sure, Chessur?" Chessur nodded, and she cursed. "This is serious."

Mirana looked over at her. "What's a Drainer?"

Alannah sighed grimly. "Drainers absorb the personalities of people. They become faceless grey blobs, and their only memories are of being a part of the Sue's…entourage. If Narcissa is a Drainer, then she could present a large problem for the citizens she encounters on the way here, which would create an even larger problem for us."

"How?"

Alannah gave Mirana a pitying look. "Mirana, she completely takes them over. They only want to do her bidding and worship her. Now imagine what happens if she decides that because she is the 'Great One', that means that she is entitled to the Throne. She could have an Army of millions on her hands."

Chessur sighed. "There were thousands following her, but they all…were blended together into one, it seemed. Is that normal?" Alannah nodded, and he growled. "We may need outside help with this. But, on a lighter note, she called your husband Ichy."

Alannah mouthed the name, and then burst into laughter, leaning against the wall for support as tears poured down her face. She gasped for breath, then said "Ichy!" and went off into a fresh gale. Chessur grinned.

"Very amusing, I know, but she also said that the first thing she planned on doing when she arrived was sending you into Exile. She was looking at a bastardized and sparkly Oraculum, and seemed quite happy with what she read."

Alannah's smile vanished, and she looked so grim and furious that Chessur took a step back. "This Sue needs to die. Mirana, contact your source and tell her to send her best warriors. I've got to get my sword out of the Armory. Chessur, go tell our children what is going on, then take the babies to Sullivan Hall. They'll be safe there." Chessur nodded and vanished. Mirana turned to Alannah, seeing the Warrior behind her eyes.

"I'll finish here, you go prepare. We shall have to fight fire with fire." Alannah nodded gravely and ran off to the Armory. Much to her surprise, she saw Katarina and Michael there, each with swords strapped on and dressed for battle. Michael smiled at his mother.

"Hello Mum! Dad told us what was going on. Vicki's inside selecting a sword and I bought yours out for you." He handed her sword to her, and Alannah took it, glaring at him.

"Michael, while I appreciate you three wanting to help, this is very dangerous. And Rina, unless I'm very much mistaken, you have two week old sons to look after, and Vicki has an infant daughter."

Katarina adjusted her sword and gave her mother a sad smile. "That's exactly why we're going to fight. If this Sue takes hold, Alexei, Ciaran, and Helena could very well vanish. They're not old enough to fight the effects, but we are, and really-did you expect the children of the Knave to run from a Battle?"

Alannah sighed. "No, I don't. What does your father have to say?"

"We need all the help we can get." Ilosovic emerged from the armory, dressed in his armor, Vicki behind him. "Alannah, I know you don't like the idea of our children fighting, but they've got a stake in this as much as we do. Ari and Josiah as well."

Alannah gaped at him. "Are they fighting as well?" She smiled grimly as Tarrant and Alice came running up, Alice dressed in her armor and wielding the Vorpal Sword. Tarrant had his claymore, and he gave Alannah a half smile.

"We're ready for Battle! Ari and Josiah are going to keep watch on the babies at Sullivan Hall. They'll be safe."

Alannah nodded. "Good. Mirana's contacting her Source, the potion is nearly ready, and the Sue is two days away. Let's get started."

"And I've been told that the Sue is something called a 'Drainer.' Do you have the means of dealing with her?" Mirana stared into a mirror at a tall and fit young woman of about thirty, with short brown hair and green eyes. She was dressed in a blue shirt and black trousers, and was cleaning her nails with a dagger. On a bench behind her, Mirana could see several strange weapons. The woman pursed her lips, and then nodded.

"I do, but if the Sue is really as dangerous as you say, I'll have to deal with it personally. That's going to cost you, Mirana."

Mirana nodded, as she had been expecting this. "I'm prepared to pay you five hundred pounds."

"Mirana, that's a pittance! I'm going to need to bring two others with me to Underland! That's only one hundred fifty pounds for each of us. If you can't do better, then you and your denizens can deal with this Sue yourselves." The woman started to walk away, and Mirana's eyes grew wide.

"No, wait!" The woman turned, and Mirana sighed. "A thousand pounds. Each. And I'll throw in a silver dagger for you."

"I've got more daggers than I know what to do with. Keep it. I'll do the job for a thousand pounds for the three of us." The woman's smile grew predatory. "Besides, the fun is in the killing, not in cashing the checks. Give me a few hours to mobilize my team, and leave a mirror open for us. In the meantime, make sure that your…bait is ready."

Mirana smiled grimly. "It will be. Fairfarren for now, Teresa. I hope to see you victorious over the Sue."

Teresa saluted her with her dagger. "Always, Mirana. See you in a few hours." Teresa waved her hand, and the mirror shimmered, and then showed her reflection and the room beyond. She smiled at a movement out of the corner of her eye. "Lydia, were you listening?"

Lydia, a young woman of about twenty two, entered the room, twirling a dagger in her hands, and Terri laughed when she saw that she was loaded down with ten other knives, as well as a pistol in a hip holster. Lydia was about five feet six, with brown hair and blue green eyes that sparkled with mischief. Lydia was hyper personified, but Terri had worked with her for eight years, and she knew that there was no one more reliable in a fight. "I heard everything! When do we go in?"

Terri sighed. "We need one more person, Lydia. Neither of us is trained in Restoration. The specialist should be here soon." She looked up as a woman entered the room, and sighed. "You the Restoration Specialist?"

The woman, who looked about fifty and out of shape, nodded, and spoke in an officious voice. "Specialist Joanne Wood. I understand we are going into the world of Underland. This is a new venue for us, and we will have to act accordingly."

Lydia snorted. "New for you, maybe, but Terri and I have done hundreds of jobs. We go in, find and kill the Sue, and then you can work your magic on her Entourage. But don't try to hinder us, or we'll leave you stranded."

Terri strapped on her guns. "Lydia, make sure that your gun is time compliant. Remember what happened the last time you tried to bring an anachronistic weapon in."

Lydia grinned. "No worries this time, it's a Derringer. Time compliant."

"Good. Joanne, we're about to go through the Mirror. You might want to ditch those sunglasses, unless you want them to dissolve." Joanne tossed her sunglasses on the table, and Terri walked over to the large mirror. "Okay, this is a one time passage. We'll need to drink a potion to get back. Let's go!"

The three women stepped through the mirror, which felt like stepping through a sheet of cold water, and emerged in the kitchens of Marmoreal.

Alannah, who had just finished brewing a potion that would allow her family to fight Narcissa's Draining, looked at them with no trace of surprise. "It's about bloody time you got here. Narcissa's almost here and our bait is ready. Now, drink this." She poured the potion into three vials and handed them over. "I know you're probably immune anyway, but I'm not taking any chances on this."

Terri and Lydia drained their vials dry without hesitation, but Joanne balked. "It smells absolutely foul! How do we know you're not a Sue? !"

Alannah glared at her in such contempt that she took a step back. "Would you like to hear my story? It would take hours we don't have. Now, drink up or go home."

Joanne plugged her nose and drank, sputtering and coughing. "Vile!"

At that moment, a commotion reached their ears. Thackery came running into the kitchens, eyes wide. "She's here! She's demanding entrance!"

Alannah, Lydia, and Terri tore out of the kitchens, heading for the Main Hall. Joanne followed at a more sedate pace. Alannah turned. "We can see better from the balcony. This way." They ran up the stairs to the balcony, nearly colliding with Tarrant, Ilosovic, Alice, Michael, Vicki, and Katarina. After apologies and introductions, they faced the front gates.

And what they saw knocked the breath from their lungs.


	4. Chapter 4 Battle Stations!

The Marvelous Adventures of Narcissa Hightopp

Chapter Four: Battle Stations!

Narcissa had arrived at Marmoreal. She held up a perfectly manicured nail, which she had polished on the journey there while simultaneously rehearsing the Rousing and Touching Speech she was going to make before the Queen and her carriage came to a smooth stop in front of the Silver Gates. Much to her surprise, they were shut tightly.

"It's most likely just an oversight." She regally descended from the carriage, floating towards the Gates, her hand outstretched. When she was within two feet, she gestured-and nothing happened. The Gates remained firmly shut, seeming to almost mock her with their imposing size. Narcissa took a breath, and then repeated the gesture, and the same result happened. "This is most odd. There is no gate that I cannot pass!"

A mocking laugh from the balcony above her made her look up and into the eyes of Thackery. She fluttered her eyelashes, speaking in the voice that always caused people to obey her every whim. "Dear Hare, would you be so kind as to come down here and open the Gates for me? I wish to speak to the Queen." She beamed in triumph as Thackery disappeared below the balcony railing. "It is only a matter of…OH!" She gave a cry of fury and shock as she was pelted with a pile of wet teabags. She stood there for a full minute, trembling in rage, while from above the mocking, derisive laughter of a Mad March Hare could be heard. "LET ME IN, OR YOU WILL REGRET IT!" She pounded on the Gates, all dignity gone as she howled in fury. "I AM THE GREAT ONE! YOU LET ME IN THIS INSTANT!"

She sensed movement above her, and looked up at the balcony at the crowd that had gathered there. The first person she spotted was Tarrant, and her eyes went soft. "My darling brother, can't you let me in?"

Tarrant gave her a look of such hatred that she felt herself tremble. When he spoke, his voice was deadly cold. "Mah entire family died on Horrendevush Day. Ye are no my sister, and ta pretend that ye 'ave any feelings is an insult ta mah real sisters. Ye deserve ta die fer what ye've done ta those poor people following ye."

Narcissa gaped at him, and a perfect tear rolled down her perfect and rosy-yet-pale cheek. "Tarrant, you must be under some sort of spell! Surely you remember me! Why, I was your favorite sister! We would spend hours together, dancing! I taught you the Futterwacken! I am your long lost and beloved sister!" She then turned her gaze to Ilosovic. "Who are you?"

Ilosovic snorted. "What's wrong, Narcissa, don't recognize your One True Love? I must admit, I do look a bit different from your ideal of me. But surely the height is a bit of a clue."

Narcissa made a disgusted face. "Ilosovic? Oh my, what a horrible looking man you've become. But I have the magic and means of restoring you to your former beauty. All I ask is that you open the gates, and then I can be in your arms in a moment."

"I may have a few things to say about that, the first being-Touch my husband and I will kill you." Narcissa gaped in surprise at the tall red head woman that came to stand by Ilosovic. "Hello, Narcissa, or should I say Mary Sue? Allow me to introduce myself. Alannah Stayne, wife of Ilosovic, slayer of the Boojum, and one of your executioners. I've dealt with your kind before, and I have one thing to say to you. Be afraid."

Narcissa snorted derisively yet prettily, and tossed her hair over her alabaster shoulder. "I fear nothing, least of all an upstart like you! I am Narcissa Amethyst Emerald Raven Jade Sapphire Hightopp, Great One, Wielder of the Power of Underland, and if you do not open the Gates for Me, I can promise you a battle! For you see, I have seen in my Sparklerum that I am the True Ruler of Underland!"

"I *beg* your pardon?" Mirana came forward, glaring daggers at Narcissa. "Did I hear you correctly? You claim to be the True Ruler of *my* kingdom?"

Narcissa straightened up, speaking in a regal tone. "I do, and if you do not allow me to come in, and take the throne in a friendly manner, I will have no choice but to defeat you on the Field of Battle. I have an army of millions behind me." She turned and raised her arms, and the Faceless following her spoke as one, sending shivers down the spines of everyone gathered on the balcony.

"ALL HAIL THE GREAT ONE! THE TRUE RULER OF UNDERLAND! OUR LADY AND EMPRESS! WE LIVE ONLY TO DO HER BIDDING!"

It wasn't the chanting that caused the shivers, nor was it the wording. It was the fact that there was no cadence or emotion in any of the words. There was nothing behind the forms, just the corruption of the Sue. Mirana exchanged glances with Terri and Lydia, and then looked down at Narcissa. "This is my kingdom, and I will not give it up without a fight. If you want a Battle, then by gad you will get one!"

Narcissa sighed. "Mirana, I will give you one last chance. I have an army that eclipses yours, and powers you could never comprehend. I promise, I will allow you to remain at the palace in an advisory capacity."

Alice came forward. "We will give you one last chance, Narcissa. Turn yourself in, and your death will be as quick and painless as we can make it." She ignored the indignant protests from Terri and Lydia. "However, if you choose to persist in your delusions, you will have a fight on your hands. We will not allow Underland to fall to the corruption of a Sue, not when we've worked so hard to make it what it is."

Narcissa glared at this common woman that dared to speak to one as exalted as her. "Worthless peasant, did I give you permission to breathe in my direction? You will be made a scullery maid for that affront to your future Empress!"

Alice gave her a glare that could have split a boulder to pieces. "It is you who are worthless, and we will stop you. I am no peasant."

Tarrant glared at Narcissa in anger. "Don't yeh dare talk like that ta mah Alice! She's more of a Queen then ye'll ever be! And if it's a battle ye want, then I kin promise ye one!"

Narcissa sighed, wiping a pearly tear from her perfect aquamarine eyes. "I had hoped to avoid any violence, but I can see that will not be possible. I will give you one hour to reconsider, and then my Army will sweep through this palace like a knife through better."

Alannah laughed. "I think the phrase is 'a knife through *butter.*', but what do I know? I'm not an all powerful snowflake." Ilosovic snorted with laughter behind her, and Narcissa's eyes grew dark with anger. She pointed a trembling finger up at the balcony.

"You have just signed your death warrants, all of you! I will meet you on the Chessboard Battlefield in one hour, and then we will settle this!" She turned and glided towards her carriage, and Terri called her name in an ingratiating voice. She turned, smiling. "Yes?"

Terri smiled grimly. "Take this with you." She reared her arm back, throwing a knife with deadly accuracy at her arm. The blade entered the flesh, and Narcissa yowled in pain, and then began to laugh before pulling the knife out-revealing that there was not a trace of blood. Gasps of surprise and horror arose from Mirana and Joanne. Narcissa threw the knife on the ground.

"You will have to try much harder than that!" With those parting words, she entered her carriage and drove off.

Joanne turned to Terri, fear on her face. "She can't be killed! She doesn't bleed! She's not human!"

Lydia rolled her eyes at this idiot woman's hysteric posturing. "Of course she can be killed, she'll bleed plenty, and of course she's not human. She's a Sue, a separate species. At least now we know mere steel won't be effective against her."

Terri nodded. "Right. Mirana, you said something about silver daggers?" Mirana nodded. "We'll need all that you can spare. Ilosovic, the Faceless can be killed by regular swords, but you have to make sure that you stab them through the throat, otherwise they won't die."

Alannah spoke up. "I thought we were going to try and restore them!"

Lydia smiled sadly. "Joanne will restore as many as she can, but there's many who are beyond any aid. The best thing to do would be to…put them out of their misery." Alannah sighed, and then nodded.

"You're right, of course. The thought of those poor creatures makes my blood boil. But, I do have some good news. The bait is ready. Thackery went to fetch him."

Joanne blinked in confusion. "Him?" She gaped in astonishment as Thackery came up the stairs, leading a perfect specimen of a man.

He bore a strong resemblance to Ilosovic, but instead of having blue eyes he had dark purple, and his hair was close cropped, but just as raven black. His skin was somehow both pale and tan, and he was wearing an outfit of a dark shirt and trousers that showed off every inch of his muscular and slim frame. He was also not as tall, but still carried himself with the grace and elegance of a tiger about to spring. He walked over to Alannah, giving her a winning smile. "My Lady, you are a beautiful sight."

Alannah rolled her eyes. "And you are a construct of ideals, and have no appeal for me. Now, you need a proper name. Something long and Stuish."

Mirana giggled. "I always liked the name Montgomery."

Alannah grinned. "Good, but still not long enough."

Katarina spoke. "Arthur."

Erik added his contribution. "Titanium!" At everyone's looks, he shrugged. "It's a tough sounding name."

Victoria laughed. "That it is. Lewis Hunter!"

Tarrant guffawed. "I've got it! Warrior Sexgod!"

There was a long pause as everyone on the balcony-save Joanne and the newly created Stu-tried to keep from dying of laughter. Joanne looked angry, and the Stu merely looked confused.

Alannah finally got herself under control. "We have a name. Majesty, my friends and loves, meet Montgomery Arthur Titanium Lewis Hunter Warrior Sexgod….Jones." She snickered. "Or, as I've decided to call him…Monty."

Monty puffed up with pride. "And I am ready to prove myself a great warrior and exemplary lover!" He smirked once more at Alannah, and she rubbed her forehead.

"I'm not interested; I've got the real thing. You're bait for the Sue. The only thing I want from you is the promise that you'll lead her to the Chess Board."

"I promise, My Lady. There is no woman born that cannot resist the charms of moi." He gave a sweeping bow, then left to find Narcissa. After he left, Joanne turned to Alannah, anger on her fat face.

"Do you have any idea how many rules you are violating by creating a deliberate Gary Stu? I am afraid I will have no choice but to make a Formal Complaint to Central Offices. We have a strict Rule Book that must be followed, and Rule Seventy, Sub Section Four, Paragraph Three, clearly states that 'The deliberate creation of a Sue or Stu by a citizen of any realm is strictly forbidden and punishable by a fine of three hundred dollars. Furthermore…"

Terri cut her off. "Oh, do shut up! Rules don't apply out here, in case you didn't know! We've got a battle on our hands, and all you have to do after it's over is restore the citizens that can be. In the meantime, stay out of our way."

Ilosovic smiled grimly. "Well said, Miss. Now if you'll excuse me, Michael and I have an Army that needs equipping. I'll be ready to move out in an hour." He gave Alannah a kiss that made Joanne gasp in scandalous shock and Terri and Lydia giggle before heading for the Barracks, Michael right on his heels.

Mirana turned to the remaining crowd. "Right, let's get to our Battle Stations. We've got a world to save." She waited until the warriors had run off before speaking to Joanne in a kind tone. "I know you are not one for combat, so you had best wait in the throne room. If there are any Underlanders in need of restoration, I will have the Cheshire Cat bring them to you. Good luck."

Joanne smiled. "Thank you, Majesty. You too."

One hour later, the White Army marched out of the Gates, heading for the Chessboard, where the Fate of Underland would be determined.


	5. Chapter 5 Clash of Arms

The Marvelous Adventures of Narcissa Hightopp

Chapter Five: Clash of Arms

Narcissa was getting fitted into her Magical Sparkle Armor by one of her loyal servants when she noticed a plume of dust rising up along the road. She watched her hand on her Magical Sword that could cut through anything in the entire world and never get rusty or dirty and a look on her face that said she was going for dangerous menace, but that came across as indigestion.

As the dust cleared and she could see who was heading her way, the menacing look vanished like a quickly vanishing thing to be replaced by a look of what could be best described as psychotic joy. Her lips stretched back in a smile that made her face look like it had been split in half, revealing impossibly white teeth and perfectly pink gums. Her eyes grew as wide as saucers, and a high pitched squealing sound escaped her mouth. "Ilosovic? Oh, my darling, my love, my wonderful and gorgeous knight!" She ran towards him, her arms outstretched as she continued to squeal. When she got closer, though, she stopped, confused. "Wait…you're not Ilosovic! Who are you?"

Montgomery gave her a smile that made her blush furiously. He took her hand, kissing it. "I am Montgomery Arthur Titanium Lewis Hunter Warrior Sexgod Jones, and I must say that I have never seen a more perfect and beautiful woman as you. We are meant to be together. Can you not feel the perfect and true love that is flowing between us?"

Narcissa looked into his eyes, and all thoughts of Ilosovic vanished. This man before her was more perfect than any she had ever known. How had she gone all her life without meeting him? She smiled at him. "My dearest darling love, even though we have only just met this very moment, I know that ours is a love that is destined to become the stuff of legends. I thought that I was saving myself for Ilosovic, but I can see now that my body and soul belongs to you and you alone, my precious darling dearest love. Alas, we cannot consummate our perfect and pristine love with gentle and loving love until I have won my victory over the upstart Queen. Will you join my cause?"

Monty gave her a passionate kiss. "It is what I was born for, my love. I have skills that none can rival, both on the field and in the bedroom. I know that you are most likely a chaste and innocent lady, and when I take you on a bed of silken sheets in a golden room in the White Palace, you will know the true meaning of Heaven. But for now, we must prepare, for the White Army will be here at any moment." He pulled out his sword, which was just as bright and sharp as Narcissa's. "This is my Magical Sword of Magicalness, and it has never once needed to be sharpened. Mirana will be here any moment, my love of the universe. Let us prepare for her coming by flexing our muscles and showing off our swords."

Narcissa felt her heart soar at his romantic talk. "Ohh, my brave and love sir Knight! I surely have never heard a more beautiful speech from a man. Thou art certainly an angel sent down from Heaven to aid me in my timest of needeth."

Together they stood like two perfect statues of two perfect specimens, waiting for what was to come. It didn't take long.

The White Army arrived on the Field of Battle, Alice astride the Bandersnatch, and Mirana, Ilosovic, and Alannah aboard their own mounts. Terri and Lydia were on foot. Alice gulped as she gazed at the vast Army of Faceless that was arrayed against them. Not even the Card Army had this many soldiers. But she reflected that those soldiers had at least been fighting of their own will, and been able to defy Iracebeth at the end. These poor creatures did not have that basic right-they were merely puppets controlled by the whims of Narcissa.

Ilosovic let his gaze sweep over the army, a feeling of disgust and pity in his gut. He knew that as a soldier, he was going to have to kill many of the Faceless to save them. The thought made him shudder. He looked over at Alannah. "It's odd. Once upon a time I reveled in the kill. But now-I feel like a monster for knowing what I have to do."

Alannah gulped. "Ilosovic, the crueler thing to do would be to have them continue to live this horrid and empty existence. Death will release them." She shot Narcissa a look of fury, hissing under her breath. "And Death is too good for that one!" Ilosovic nodded in agreement, and then straightened as he watched Narcissa being carried forward on a paladin.

When she was within ten feet of the White Army, she raised a perfect marble hand and her servants lowered her paladin, and she dismounted effortlessly. Montgomery was right beside her, and the sun glinted off their shiny and sparkly armor in a beautiful pattern of rainbow like colors. Narcissa smiled at Mirana. "Mirana. You still insist on this foolish endeavor? Surely thou must knoweth that I art totally invincible and awesomely powerful. I will give you one more chance to do the smart thing and give up, for my awesomeness eclipses you so totally. I will be kind to those who choose to join my side. You will feel no pain, no sadness, and no despair."

Tarrant scoffed. "Also no joy, happiness, thought, intelligence, individuality, and life. Look what you have done to these people, Narcissa. They are shells, no more. For that, you deserve the worst fate that we can dream of. So, are you prepared for battle?" He drew his sword and started to advance, only to be stopped by Ilosovic.

"Not yet, Tarrant. Narcissa, I give you one final chance. Surrender to us, allow us to put your Faceless out of their misery as painlessly as possible, and we can avoid needless blood being shed."

Narcissa laughed. "Ilosovic Stayne afraid of battle! That woman truly has corrupted you! You have become soft! No, Stayne, I will never surrender! I will fight to the death of all of you!"

Ilosovic glared at her. "You are a foolish child. I have no fear of battle, but I had hoped to avoid a meaningless one such as this. However, since you insist on fighting, I have one thing left to say." He drew his sword, raising it over his head. "CHARGE!" He lowered his sword, and the Army swept across the Battle Field, meeting the Faceless in a clash of swords.

Alannah and Alice were taking on several Faceless with surprising combat skills. But the two women could also fight quite well, and the fight was fierce and brutal. Alannah swung her sword with expertise, dispatching of one Faceless after another. Unfortunately, it seemed that for each she felled, ten more took its place. She turned to Alice, sweat running down her face and blood running down her arms. The faceless may have been nearly insubstantial, but their weapons weren't. "We've got to think of something!" Her eyes went wide with shock as a horde of Faceless came swarming towards her, their swords raised. She shut her eyes, and then opened them to reveal that they were blood red. A war cry ripped from her throat and she charged into the melee, slicing and hacking every Faceless she could reach.

Alice slid off the Bandersnatch, fighting her way to where Alannah stood surrounded by Faceless, the Vorpal Sword slicing through them effortlessly. Katarina and Vicki, who were nearby, fought their way forward to help their mother. Vicki caught a glimpse of her face, and felt a shudder run through her. "Mum?"

Alannah dispatched a Faceless by slicing it in half before turning to Vicki, a mad smile on her face. "Vicki! Don't worry; I'm in control of myself." She turned at a sound, slicing off the heads of three Faceless, and Vicki gawped. Alannah laughed. "Darling, did you think I had succumbed?"

Vicki shook her head, and then much to her surprise dispatched three Faceless with effortless ease. "How? I didn't think we were this skilled in combat!"

Alannah grinned. "That potion I made all of us drink before we came here gives us combat skills beyond what we would normally have. It gives us an even footing with Narcissa."

Katarina did a front roll somersault, slicing two Faceless into three pieces before springing to her feet and clubbing another in the head. "Is it permanent?"

Alannah gave her a look of exasperation. "Of course not. Once Narcissa is killed, it will wear off. Of course…" She threw her dagger into the neck of a Faceless that was trying to gnaw her arm…. "That could take a while. I propose that we make our way to the center of combat." The others nodded, and Alannah retrieved her dagger before they all fought their way to where Ilosovic, Tarrant, the Sue-Slayers and the White Army were locked in combat with the Army of Faceless. Narcissa, being the skilled warrior that she was, stayed in the back and waved her sword around as she made incoherent sounds. Every once in a while, a White Soldier would reach her, and she would have a brief skirmish during which she maintained her perfect appearance.

Montgomery was fighting and holding his own against ten White Soldiers when he suddenly doubled over in pain. Narcissa spotted him, and a cry of pretty anguish poured from her throat as she glided towards him. "What is it, my love?"

Alannah turned and watched the drama unfold, a wicked gleam of joy on her face. 'The tide is about to turn.' Montgomery gave a strange gurgle and fell prone on the floor. Narcissa gave a beautiful cry of anguish that a thousand poets could spend millions of years trying to accurately describe and still not come close to one iota of the pure and complete anguish felt by Narcissa when she saw the perfect man she had known for an hour collapsed on the cold ground.

Narcissa knelt beside her one true love, a perfect look of pained anguish on her perfect face. Montgomery blinked up at her, his dark purple eyes fading to pale lavender, and reached for her hand. "Narcissa…my love…I…do not have long for this world, and I do not wish to leave it without giving you one perfect and passionate kiss. I…regret…not…being able to give…more."

Narcissa cradled him in her arms, tears pouring in perfect tracks down her face. "Hush, my love! Our love is a tragedy beyond that of Romeo and Juliet in its intensity and passion. I will grant your last dying request and give you a perfect kiss!"

The opposing Armies had ceased their fighting; all eyes were on the two lovers who had been cruelly snatched from each other by cruel and capricious Fate. Narcissa bent down and kissed Montgomery, surpassing every kiss ever known to man or woman. It lasted for only three minutes, but in those three minutes Narcissa knew that she would never love again, and she felt her heart break into a million little pieces. Nevermore would she love.

"Farewell, Montgomery Arthur Titanium Lewis Hunter Warrior Sexgod Jones! I, Narcissa Amethyst Emerald Raven Jade Sapphire Hightopp, shall never forget you nor the perfect and pure love that we shared despite only knowing each other for two hours. I swear by all the deities that I will somehow avenge your pointless death!"

A heartbroken sob poured from her throat as Montgomery breathed his last and expired, all the vitality leeching from his tall and muscular frame. Narcissa carefully laid his body on the cold ground, then stood and faced the White Army, fury on her beautiful face. "YOU HAVE KILLED THE MAN I WAS GOING TO SHAG! HE AND I WOULD HAVE SHARED A BEAUTIFUL AND EROTIC FILLED MOMENT OF PURE LOVE AND BLISS! FOR THAT, I SHALL DESTROY YOU! 1! 1!" She raised her arms above her head in a threatening gesture, and then spoke in a deep and oddly throaty voice. "TOTALLY AWESOME AND MAGICAL POWERS ACTIVATE! DESTROY THE WHITE ARMY AND ANYONE NOT FOLLOWING ME!"

Everyone watched as a sparkly pink beam of light shot from her hands and floated over to the Army. Narcissa was laughing in triumph. "Now, you will see the futility of opposing one as wonderful as..." her jaw dropped as the Sparkle Power reached the front lines and vanished. "How?"

Alannah laughed. "Really, the one thing that you Sues never seem to learn is that you have serious flaws such as not understanding how the world's you are trying to corrupt work. Do you honestly think Underland would give itself up without a fight? We thrive on madness! You would make this a perfect and rational world, and that's incomprehensible to most. But if you wish, keep trying to use your powers. You've not got much longer anyway."

Narcissa gasped prettily. "Whatever do you mean by that?"

"I mean that I poisoned you five minutes ago. When you kissed my Stu, you signed your death warrant." Alannah's smile grew predatory. "I am not Potions Mistress for nothing, Narcissa. I dosed Montgomery with a slow acting poison."

Narcissa scoffed. "I am immune to all poisons! You cannot kill me!"

Alannah blinked. "Who said anything about killing you?"

"Well, if you're not planning on killing me, why poison?"

Alannah laughed. "I gave you a poison that affects your species. Narcissa Amethyst Emerald Raven Jade Sapphire Hightopp, you are about to become…normal."

Narcissa wailed in anguish as her perfect and shiny blonde hair dulled down to a plain brown and then to her infinite horror became dirty and tangled. Her perfect blue eyes became brown as well, and her perfect and perky large boobs shrunk to near nonexistence, since she did not have the body to support them. "I'm FLAT!" She burst into tears, and then gazed in fury at Alannah. "You will pay for this!" She drew her sword, and promptly fell on her face. Alannah giggled.

"You have no combat skills anymore. They're gone. Terri, she's all yours!"

Terri came forward, gun in hand. "Thank you, Alannah." She aimed and fired, and Narcissa fell with a bullet between her eyes.

Alice blinked. "Well, that was certainly…anticlimactic."

Lydia laughed. "That's usually the case with these super powered and beautiful Sues. They're all coating, nothing else." She frowned, looking over the Faceless that still remained. "What about these poor bastards?"

Mirana sighed. "Chess took the ones that could be helped back to Joanne. I'm afraid all these that are left have moments to live." Sure enough, as they watched, first one Faceless then another began to fade away into the air. But as they watched, they couldn't help but notice tiny green sparks floating upwards into the cloudy sky. Without being told, they knew that what they were seeing were the souls of the people, finding peace at last. A sense of calm swept over them as Alannah began to sing.

"Death, be not proud, though some have called thee  
>Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;<br>For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow  
>Die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me.<br>From rest and sleep, which yet thy pictures be,  
>Much pleasure, then from thee much more, must low<br>And soonest our best men with thee do go,  
>Rest of their bones and soul's delivery.<br>Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings and desperate men  
>And dost with poison, war and sickness dwell,<br>And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well  
>And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?<br>One short sleep past, we wake eternally,  
>And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die."<p>

When she had finished, she took a deep breath before turning to Lydia and Terri. "The Sue's body is all yours."

The two women nodded their acknowledgment, and Terri spoke. "What about the Stu?"

Alannah grinned. "It will dissolve shortly. After all, it has no real substance, just style."

Mirana nodded. "True. Now, Alannah, I believe your Healing Skills are needed. Teresa, Lydia, once you have finished disposing of the Sue, come to Marmoreal."

The victors left to tend to their business, and Underland was once more at peace and free from the ravages of a Sue.

George the Phoenix vanished, as they didn't exist in Underland. Narcissa's grand palace and everything in it vanished as well, since it had only existed as a vague idea of a palace.

Now all that remained was the Victory Feast.


	6. Chapter 6 Victory

The Marvelous Adventures of Narcissa Hightopp

Chapter Six: Victory

The Victory Feast at Marmoreal was one that would enter the annals of Underland history. Thackery and his cooks had gone all out, and the tables groaned and bent under the vast weight of the various meats, puddings, vegetables, fruits, desserts, breads, and drinks that adorned them. There was no class distinction-Lords and Ladies rubbed elbows with stable boys and scullery maids. Everyone knew that Underland had been saved from a horrible fate through the brave actions of a few, and many toasts were given in their honor.

There were also a few tears as the citizens that had been restored by Joanne mourned the family that had been lost to Narcissa's poisonous influence. Husbands mourned the wives they had lost, and mothers mourned their children. Fortunately, the innate madness that each Underlander was born with had helped many to resist Narcissa's spell, and Joanne had been quite pleased and happy at the number of Faceless she had been able to save.

Terri and Lydia were the center of attention, and everyone listened raptly as they recounted battles with Sues long past. A few of the younger soldiers were quite fascinated with Lydia, and while she was flattered, she reminded them gently that after the feast was over she, Joanne, and Teresa would be returning to their own home and time.

Alannah sat by her husband, their hands linked and identical smiles on their faces as they watched their daughters cooing to their children. Arianna and Elias had returned from Sullivan Hall hours after the Sue had been killed, and the reunion had been a joyful one. Katarina and Erik had practically snatched their sons from Elias' arms, kissing them all over. Katarina held Ciaran close, crooning at him. "Oh my darling boy, I'm so glad we won! I would not be able to bear it if I lost you and your brother before you had a chance to live! You will grow up into such a handsome lad, both of you! Oh my darling boys!"

Erik hugged and kissed Alexei, just as overjoyed. "Your daddy and mummy are so glad to see you safe, my lad! We were so worried for you! Elias, did they behave?"

Elias laughed and kissed the top of Ciaran's head. "All three of them were as good as gold."

Vicki, who had been cooing and crooning meaningless words at Helena, smiled at her grandfather. "Thank you so much for watching over our children, Grandda." She nuzzled Helena. "I don't know what I would have done had we lost!"

Alannah gave a grim chuckle. "None of us want to think about what might have happened. Can you imagine this place as being orderly and perfect? That would be a torture beyond anything even Iracebeth would be able to conjure. We are meant to be a mad people and place, and the sooner these Creatures figure it out the better."

Alice nodded in agreement. "Personally, I'll be thrilled when they stop trying to steal my husband from me with their perfect blond hair and simpering personality. You're lucky; since most of them seem to view Ilosovic as…what's the word they use? Icky."

Ilosovic spoke drily. "I've been called worse by Sues, believe me. I think they're astounded to discover I'm immune to their charms. And speaking of Sues, Stus, cabbages and kings…Alannah, what happened to the rest of the potion?"

"What rest? I made sure to make enough for one Stu. That potion is dangerous, Ilosovic."

Ilosovic made a mock sad face. "Darn and I was hoping that you could modify it into a…different type of potion."

Alannah rolled her eyes and flicked his earlobe. "You have a dirty mind, husband. Besides, everyone knows that Sue-sex is usually sweet, quiet, and gentle. I don't know about you, but I much prefer loud and rough. A little bit of gentle lovemaking is lovely, but there's something to be said for raw animal sex."

Alice and Margaret choked on their drinks and went off into gales of laughter while Mirana, Lydia, and Terri howled in amusement. The Stayne children exchanged amused glances that clearly said 'Our parents have not changed one iota.'

Joanne gaped at Alannah. "Really, your behavior is appalling! What sort of example are you setting for the babies?"

Alannah rolled her eyes. "The babies are all two weeks old; I doubt they understand what we're talking about yet. But they've got Stayne and Hightopp blood in them, so I'm sure when they get older they'll come to realize that we're a bloody horny bunch." Joanne opened and closed her mouth in disbelief before simply snorting and turning to her plum and raisin pudding.

Ilosovic leaned towards Alannah, speaking in the low whisper that never failed to cause her to become quite aroused. "You know love, all this talk makes me…rather…simulated. The feast is going to go on for a while, and I doubt anyone will notice if we've gone." He nibbled her throat, and she groaned. "What do you say, love? Want to go someplace and be…animals?"

Alannah made a sound that Ilosovic took as affirmation, and he smirked, pulling her to her feet and leading her out of the banquet hall. Everyone pretended not to notice.

Ilosovic and Alannah ran down the hall to the nearest bedchamber they could find. Ilosovic swept her up and kicked the door shut in two swift and fluid movements, and pulled her into a hard and bruising kiss. Alannah groaned, clinging tightly to him as she clawed and scratched at his back and shoulders, their tongues battling for dominance. Ilosovic tossed her on the bed before pouncing on her with a low growl.

Shirts, trousers, skirts, and chemises were shredded into pieces as hands, mouths, and teeth roved everywhere. Ilosovic left suck marks on Alannah's stomach and breasts, and in return she bit and sucked on his chest and legs before engulfing him in a manner that made him howl her name.

He reached down and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her up into a kiss so hard that he tasted her blood on his tongue. He could feel her body shaking and trembling with arousal, and as he stroked and caressed her roughly she growled his name and bucked against him. "Ilosovic…please…"

The raw desire in her voice galvanized him, and he flipped her onto her back before plunging into her as hard and fast as he could. "Gods baby…you are my dream woman….my passion….my love…my…." Words failed him as animal instinct took over both of them, and they let the bedsprings speak for them.

Hours later, they returned to the Banquet Hall after a brief trip to the cottage, faces flushed and panting, and their arms around each other and dressed in fresh clothes. Their old ones had been torn beyond repair.

Michael and Katarina smirked at them, and Vicki giggled wickedly. Ilosovic and Alannah gave their children exasperated glares before returning to the Feast.

Mirana merely chuckled and shook her head in affection at the two. 'They haven't changed. Thank Time we were victorious over the Sue, or Ilosovic might have descended into madness. Tomorrow the Sue Slayers will leave for their own time, and Underland will continue to be as it always was-a wonderfully Mad Place filled with Mad People.'

It was a reassuring and maddening thought, and she wouldn't want it any other way.

THE END.


End file.
